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PRI
the man and the boy are finding it harder to huddle together. not cos they don't want to or they don't love each other, they're running out of space in that cave. their beloved horse is presumed dead...
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Lady Liberty: i just hope everyone is okay.Kim: get down! it's the end of the world!Lady Liberty: what?Kim continues holding the Statue's hand.Kim tries to stop drop and cover but forgets he's in water...
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THE DOG DAYS OF SUMMER WILL NEVER END
learned:* Subaru, the all-American company* man: you said you were gonna be wearing nothing. the red parka's cute tho.* man: oh i thought you said you were butch and i got you out of it.woman: i was...
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TMIT: THE BIG SALAD-MUNCHER
1. what is your reality? doesn't exist2. will you have sex today?this week? probably never3. what did you hate doing this past weekend? cleaning out my garage. no that isn't code for anything, i really...
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PRI: OUT OF NOTHING
the boy: I only falter if my eye stops dreaming of the moon as the sun beats it shut.the man: leafing through the old legends again?boy: we are the start. the beginning. it's from your writings in this...
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Mooch: does the audience want any poppers? i got veal Marengo.Bump: there's something not quite right about veal. it's too mob gangsterish. not a good look for me, i'm almost halfway there.Oprah: sir...
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FISH STORM
learned:* Subaru is on fire lately. sizzling Subaru* old man: if all else fails, the fishing rod will be my final sword.* old woman: have fun.old man: they can't fool me with a parka. that's not my...
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TMIT: INVASION OF THE BRAIN SNATCHERS
anybody else miss Goren's scintillating psychiatrist sessions with his sultry shrink?1. why would you go to a therapist?a) you need support b) you want to take responsibility for your life's actions c)...
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CYBER COURTSHIP
learned:* modern love. don't question it or you're a grandpa.* woman: hi.man: you think i have big hands?woman: i like your white shoes.man: will we EVER get to that post-racial world i keep reading...
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MR. MALDARK: GRANTED
being poor changes you. you never think it's gonna happen to you. well you don't think at all when you're young. young and dumb. i never thought i'd find myself in this position, writing about...
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at the National Anthem, Jordin Sparks gets up to sing. she has Scripture written on her thumb. as she warbles her dulcet notes fade into disappearance. Jordin Sparks vanishes into thin...
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PROVE IT!!!
learned:* plastic sunglasses* JUMP SCARE in time for Halloween month* the chair by the mirror is also a mirror...* male model: allow me to...Natalie Portman: PROVE IT!!!male model: you kinda stepped on...
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TMIT: FACEBOOK'S IN TROUBLE
1. how do you gauge the success of your romantic relationships? if we can still talk to each other while we're both blindfolded at the same time...2. how often do you prefer to talk about sex with your...
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MR. MALDARK: STUCK
Less is a thoroughly unremarkable young man. his best friend Deen is his sidekick, at least he has that going for him, though Deen would beg to differ and offer that it's a matter of view. Less is...
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Mueller:...we can make this work. you said this was the only place that allows you to keep your skates on after derbying and order cos the booth benches are black.Ashley: who'd want to take them off?...
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WATCH THOSE LADDERS
learned:* just in time for Halloween. sorry, i thought you were wearing a costume.* Virginia Christine, a name straight out of the pages of a paperback Harlequin romance.* director: do you prefer Mrs....
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TMIT: HANDSOME SHOULD CARE
1. i am me because______________nobody else wanted it.2. ______________will never ever do________________ The Hulk, PCP (or we're in trouble)3. he was grabbing ice cubes and _______________pretending...
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MR. MALDARK: SWAILING
Superintendent Intendo is pacing back and forth in his office at the FBI. he drinks his papers and rifles through his cup of coffee. of course this spills his coffee all over his desk, in a beautiful...
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later, when the offices are closed for the night, Mueller and company break back into the office.Mueller: it's a 24/7 job we have.Ashley: i miss him. this was Comey's old office, too, right?Mueller:...
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WHAT IT FEELS LIKE FOR A GIRL
learned:* i can't really write on this.* i am contractually obligated to write on all the phoenix things.* great grandmother: hello, great granddaughter. are you listening to me? do you know how much i...
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