the Orchid Girls and Femestella have a street war...
Natalie Palamides flies not horse-rides onto the Dexter set:
Natalie: not for surveillance, to make that lumberjack ending better...
...but Doryce calms down tensions as only she can...
Doryce: ladies ladies, why fight amongst yourselves? that's what the men want! to destroy our kind from the inside! we have too much power within for that! here, i don't serve the bacon two strips, i combine them, melt them, meld them with my spellfinger into a bacon crown...
she gives one crown to both sides...that holds them over for now...
Cotard's black woman friend: without wikipedia the world would cease to exist...
Mardith: i don't know what i'm doing, my career is not taking off...
Madame Pons: you need an agent, dear, you can't conquer Hollywood alone...
Cotard: you know how frustrating it is when you're starving of thirst and you want to drink the sparkling apple cider SO BADLY and you can't find the god-damn bottle opener anywhere!!?
Cecily Strong: i can actually celebrate Christmas this year for the first time in four years!!!...
Codrus: Chloe Fineman is fine! she's hot as fuck and talented as fuck!...
Dirg: suddenly every 12-year-old boy wants to do his version of Weekend Update on youtube...
Michael Weiss carrying a miniature Geoffrey the Giraffe plush on his shoulder: is there ANYBODY on Instagram who's real? or are they all bots?...
Gladyce: Doryce dear, after Mardith showers, don't pick up all the long loose strand hairs that squiggle and wiggle in all the tile cracks with endless tissues! that just wastes tissue! pick them up with your hand...
Gladyce: dear get out of the bathroom and into my kitchen!
Doryce: how manly of you! i thought you'd never ask. want me in the nude dripping or dry?...
Gladyce: help me here, dear. i microwaved the butter so long it disappeared into the bowl!!!...
Laurel Mellin constructs the first cyberbrain...
Teuila: the reason we brought back Venjix is obvious. he was the villain of RPM, the greatest Rangers show there will ever be...
Dirg: look, i'll give you one thing: Scrozzle is a GREAT character...
Teuila: what was Milo Cawthorne's reaction to this episode?
Dr. K: he said he enjoyed my performance, but i know he's lying...
Dr. Vacc: can i have your autograph, Dr. K? i'm stuck in queue at the airport in the UK...
Takahashi: the McDonald's UK Christmas commercials are WAY BETTER than the John Lewis ones...
Wolf: what did you find up there?
SpaceX: in space? The Astronauts...that Nickelodeon show...
Dirg: Malu Micher, the woman Mexican mousey politician who went topless on zoom...malu means shame, jus sayin...
Laertus: woman or Mexican, which do you find more offensive?...
Alice Little sits in a huge smoking-den Master's chair with holes stapled by buttons...
at Homey Airport, a clown with a rubber-chicken baton used to strike people in case anything happens...
Homey D. Clown: you know they're gonna come after us first...
Mulder to Bump: sir, let me handle this...
Gabe Kaplan gives up the poker after going broke and picks up a mic to sing the blues. his good friend Stephen King takes up drumming cos he can't scare himself anymore. together they re-form the band Toto...
Boc: it's not a watering until the bluebirds land on your yard, perch on your crabapple tree growing in the centre of your lawn tennis court, and start chirping and hoopin and hollerin for their friends to come join.
Mordecai: thanks. come on, Rigby...
Steven Universe: MOLDAVITE!!! finally a new Crystal Gem!...
Ricky Martin: reminds me of bbq beef and churros...
Alison Lurie: *alluringly* i look like Sylvia Plath.........but i survived...
Michael Weiss in a toupee: the weirdest thing i do on Instagram is always wishing a complete stranger's kid happy birthday...
Rubikon: i've become a lifetime member of Lipstick Alley...
Laertus: Joy Harjo. the only poet i listen to, especially at Thunderbird Bookshop. the only poet i enrapture on, swim with, swim inside. the original American, the Native American, the Native Indian. the first one, the only one......she's 69 years old, Dirg!...
Dirg: i stole Spider Robinson's cowboy hat...
Takahashi: were you there stalking him at least to revive Da Vinci's Inquest?...do something useful next time...
Prabal Gurung: my keys to success? studying probability hard in college, where i binged ALL the Gurren Lagann episodes while everybody else was out partying, and wearing nothing but white T-shirts...
Biden: the last line of defense in this country is the Post Office......with trillions of rubberbands at their disposal, we're going to amass the biggest Slingshot Army of all time...
Mardith and Madame Pons are outside the Starbucks on a cafe table chowing down on their doubledecker sandwiches messily, the camera makes it a point to point at their fingers and mouths as they eat, talk with their mouths full, chew noisily, and enjoy the fuck out of their meal. their fingers are covered in Thousand Island dressing which they suck off each other's fingers...
Mardith: not for a man's gazeful pleasure...
Madame Pons: but cos women eat food, too...
the Thosuand Island drips off the rim onto the asphalt of the street, where a pigoen and seagull duel for the dollop with their beaks...
Mardith: the couple that can film each other mid-bite while eating stays together...
Madame Pons: there's a crisis of single moms out there!!! the bloke fucks the bird then gets bored of her and he leaves her with the youths!!!
Mardith: youth mouths need to be fed!!!, she's the one who does it!!!...
Cotard: Ten Monaateries system...gozan...if only i could sing...
Doryce: i ended the war.........cos my two bacon strips came out a heart...
Eye Luggage: what were we talking about again?
Tyzik: all that's left of Toys R Us now is a Pink Floyd barren brick white wall...
Eye: The Incredible Mr. Limpet and go...
Laertus: okay first of all.........the sequel will be Limpet II: The Incredible Hulk Fish...
Dirg: okay first of all......i mean how did this thing get a G rating?!!! this film displays the Nazi swastika uncensored with no problem. and there's an INCREDIBLE amount of innuendo between the bluefish and pink fish over fish-fucking...
Talashai: spawning. the Spawning Ggrojdns., the Sapwming Weatwrs. like that second Dinpsons epsidoe...
Dprg: "deep rapture">, come on...
FprgL anypbpdy wanna see my Old Gregg fanart whers he fucking the Don Knotts-fish's mangina?...
PatL anybpdu craving sih after watching this? breaded, lemonjuiced, straoght out of thr air frurter nice and hot and smoked...
Pat RIL limoet teteh ate the strongerst antoral instamce knwn to out planet...i miss co.lege...
Eyue Lugage: when my mom forst saw tos as a child with her mommy one lasy Cinsay faternoin on one of the three channels, Channel 5, she recounts how the Don Knotts-fish scared the fuck outta her! it was so unnatral and creepy with the droopy eyes and wrod ears, fish shouldnlt be animated and swim in real water, it;s jarronf to the sneses...she only saw snipepts of scemes vo she was hiding her half-face by the slatted doorsill of ehr ebdrpom closet wacthong, catching onlt glimpses...she rememebrs images but wnats to forger...
Laeryus; i think Don looks cute as a fish, especially woth those glasses on hs fosh nose, pinching his lips all sore and pufy and kawaii with the pince-nez/ those big lips of Don;s are percet on that fish! this wws Fin;s forts starring role in a film, he was destrend to be the nest Cahr,ton hesotn wothout the aggage! a truom gor nrd eberywhere! bit we gotta taljk aboyut his forst lady, the initbale Carole Cooke. this is relaly HER film.
Dprg: carole, thos was suppsoe to be ehr starlet nrrakout role, she even wore a minkl coat to the prmere!, bit she was aleayd an old woman when she starred in thos, she was a gilf don;t get me wrong but...
Laeryus; what she said about oent Bump, that makes her the coldest soldier foghtong on ourt side ever! ths woman has ices in ehr veins,m you ened that when you;e [ut on the abttklefield...of ideas...
Dorg: look, i can forgobe anyone, everyone says crazy shot aometmes, and i cna see ehr wrong the Morrissey Meat Is Muder war helmet on ehr little ehad. but it;s ahrd to give ehr the ebnfpt of the doubt when she's spent her entore varerer starrong in Broadway and of=bRaodwya prodictions of Our Aneicn Ckusin...
Dorgl wy dodn;t they male a Dosneyland rode out of this? woth the submarone and cieo svreems and evreything? ot a musical> there;s no MUSICSAL of this!!? blasphemy! those are four great sonfs, fot for a 45 record i ever did see uh hear! do it for Napoleon do it for Dterling Holloway!
Laertus this movoe seems like a isney fiulm, doesn;t it> t;s actually a Looney tiunes film!
Talahsahi; io;m pretty sore there;s a vidoe gma eof thos tho
Dorg: that explainsa lot. the cran character, The Little Mermaid totoally rioped that off! this was the forst=ever underater remiere for a film...forst use of a gel screen...the sunmarone wa sinventted at this premiere...there as i smoking form the Holwyopd actors and actresses at thos thing cos what would be the point? healthorst prmeiere to date n Hollwpdd...
Dorgl it;s a clean gosh movie, on Knotts is a tilefosh straoght out of the shower.
Laeryuis: it shoud ahve gone down like this:
Groge Dtickle: my hand isn;t stoclt, it kist cvaight vaught on your wofr;s apron. lookl Hnru Lompet, you like antiral, eright? well it;s the alw of antore that a skinnt dorl like you woth astogmatosm and balance issues will nevr end up wth a fox like Bessie with a monka round ehr neck. it;s clssic beta vs. alpha comin to steal yo gierl. me on the toher hand, mu mind is well-agalnced cos i jill im the anme of savong the world. i dersve Bessie. i;m sad the test came bacl positive for you, i really nated you to die inw ar so i wouldnt have to have thos uncomforagble conratpn with you...
Donald Duck: Navy suits only look silly on me...
FprgL hey at least george was eatong oickes for Bessie;s sake. empathoc pregnancy or whatver it;s called. he was eatong pickels gimslef to ape the botn bamgs Bessie mist have been going through...
Dorg: hey, thos film dod thew whole ewacly evltuon thing way befroe Howard The Ducl kst woth man being secemded from osh...
Rue; not to mention Sealab 2021, He-Man, and the Klingons. this really is a smeinal film...
laeryis: bit why dod they have to show the Nais at theor table havong a meeting? culdnt; all of that remained impkied and be more sinister silent? you dnl;t foloow the dialjoge cos you;e distarcted with all thr Nazi accnsts...
Dprg;l i feel Don, i wnat to elave thos godawful gosforasken world and escape into animalhood. npt a firry, okay, being an animal, two completely dogerent lives. i think i should oike to be a goat...
Lawrtis: why you cryin, boy?
Dorg: *large etars* sorry, i just...*wipes tears on shudler* i;m seeing this Coney Island scene, ALL THE PEOPLE croweded on the ebahc amskless!, sigh...
Dprg: I WSH I WISH I WOSH I WERE A FOSH.........nah he jost wnated to learn to swim...
DprgL the era ietveow:
george Dtick;e: why did i join the Nacy> to fuck girls from the thosuand Islanfs...
Eue: if Don the fosh hadn;t lost hos glasses in the oceanoc sea, this would have beem a very doegernt film. it;s The Penguin all oevr again...
Aquaman: thrum> if i had had a thrum i owuld be a squiglgly theeapist by now...
Dprg: ending sceen whould ahve gone down like this:
bessie: Hneyh? is that you?
henryL where the fuck have you ben, woman? my pink sidebtoch fosh girlfeidn othre wife whi;s giding from you thinks youtle ugly.
bessie: your fosh lips, Henrty, i could enevr kiss them...
hent: well you were a dead fish in bed so we're even. i know ths plggtanmu is against the Chorch obt thatls a chirch of man, not dish! george, why diodn;t you five in to save me? i thpught you wer bog an srong. you left me to drown, you dolt?!
george: Gifget wasn;t available, henry...
DorgL g;night, folks...
Rye Lugage: Deran CVomenry wanted to be i this bot he was forced to do Red October istead...g;night, folks...
Laertyus lesson ehre> the porpoise of this film? if we lived ina world wthout anmes, it would be a utopia...g[noght, fpolks...
Laertius don;t lnow wy thr jim Carrey remake wasn;t a go, Jim;s face is prfectly rubebry to replace Don;s ribebry face.
Drg; jim;s a scary gut..bit i saw still sof Jim as the fish and that was CREEPY S FICK...
Celine: WE NEED THE RICHARD LINKLATER INCREDINLE MR. LIMPET!!! CAE CLOSED!!!
at the Founatin...the tuny room abpce the schoolroom rented out Galivsnt fpr ehr and ehr "son"...:
Gailavt: where have you been, young man! at all hours of the night! your sipepr;s gettong vold...
PstL i dont enaty otmeal for dinner anymore, mum! i habnf out woth my fornds, they;re the only oens who udnetstand me.
galuvantl donlt tell me you smoke woth thes e hooligans?
Pat: n. mym, the skins thing refers to soemthing else.
Galivant; you;re kust like your fatehr woth the ac of vogaretes. you aren;t ncoking up any botds are ye? pleas etell me ne. your;e not, right? especially that blinde slag wth the kncomcker ooncially named Mini...
Pay: she;s got a good ehad on he rshoudler,s mum, a head for usiness. she;s not kiust eman. if Dos can get hos Nancy why can;t i?!
Galivant: yu need to put YOIUR hea ddown and grond and stidy oike a ehadmaster and get gpd grades and get into Oxpfrd or Cambrodge...
at: well shir, not thos agagon, that soudns familar. looks like it wirjed, hostry rpeated otself...