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the three of us are at People's Park in Berkeley.
Joni Mitchell: you can feel the history in this place. it's SATURATED in the air, you can taste the radicalness on your tongue. even a place like Berkeley can forget its history if enough years pass by, history is tricky like that, it turns on a dime. it's up to YOU young people to NEVER forget the sacrifices made here for the hippie cause, to unleash free love.
Jen P: never, ma'am. i'm the only one here who's still a student.
me: well, an official student.
Jen R: i'd rather be a travel writer of this place. so much looseness i'm stretchy in my pants.
we sit on the bench made famous by Forrest Gump's illegitimate child who became the first hippie retroactively with help from Superman's wind.
Christopher Reeve in an Easter-bunny suit: not my fart.
Jen P: a spoonful of spores. a teaspoon of spores will do it.
Mary Poppins: everybody tryna get in my bitch ass.
Jen R: yeah, to plant shrooms throughout the land.
Jen P: trees, i was thinking more trees. as long as THIS place has NEW trees, NEW people will notice it, see the good graffiti on the outhouse stalls, help a squatter's grass tent, help humanity remember when it wasn't about politics.
Jen R: another miracle that comes from a spoon of spores is a baby. a spurt of cum.
Jen P: yes. in another timeline you were OBSESSED with me. and my miracle baby. after so many scarring miscarriages. funny how timelines and feelings change on a dime.
me: blame me for the feelings, but blame the endless timelines on Einstein. obsession is a funny thing, it was obsession for me because there was no one else. so it was more like desperation. i really do feel Jen R is my soulmate.
Jen P: yeah i know, that is something which cannot be changed in any timeline.
Jen R: i can get a sitter for you guys, i hear Cher lives in Huntington.
me: i promise to be the best father i can. as soon as i get a job. or become a permanent student.
Jen R: loving someone is a revolution.
Suzy Lu: so i went to a red-carpet premiere. me.
Kakashi: you know what everyone is saying about this, right, babe?
Suzy Lu, hangdog: i know.
Kakashi: the world has truly come to an end now.
at the park.
me: no one noticed my birthday. it was exciting. it was exhilarating.........but then the next day it was just kinda depressing.
Jen R: that's your other you talking, the other me that thinks about it in internal-dialogue form.
Jen P: it completely slipped my mind, i was busy buying Pampers.
Michael Weiss: only Instagram noticed my birthday. the Instagram Birthday Feature.
Mardith: what do women do when they become old and unfuckable? where do women go?
Marketa Irglova: ...
Shirley Manson: get you a band for life in which in order to achieve anything in the long run, in other to achieve longevity around an actual business model, the bandmates realize from jump NEVER to fuck one another.
Dr. Kevorkian at the park: i don't jog alone anymore. jogging is such a lonely exercise. i jog with Special Olympics athletes in wheelchairs alongside. in the Boston Marathon. i'm trying to turn my life around.
Lorne Michaels: it's only live once.........i'm not talking about SNL, i'm talking about the NCAA Basketball Tournament.
at the City Berkeley Library.
George Orwell: 1984 was banned? thank you, that plays right into the narrative of my book.
Ray Bradbury: Fahrenheit 451 was banned, too? banned by being placed in a fire at a book burning. i mean think about it.
Carmelo Anthony: what? i'm a David Byrne fan.
KION: working hard.........bringing you the news.........local stories that matter.........with the volume VERY LOW.
Trent Reznor summering away from New Orleans in a Berkeley hostel: the best part about Invincible? the drums.
Boc: let me stop you right there. you simply cannot take a walk when the forecast calls for "scattered showers."
Ariana Araiza: jumping from puddle to puddle not knowing what direction you're going. in life. like me club-hopping.
Greykid: when two dogs sniff each other along the only brick Barnyard path, it's a shitshow. it's a sniffshow.
bum: i FUCKING hate that carburetor noise those dumb male Miatas make.
Alana Haim: you gotta eat more tofu, you know? drink more corn syrup. kidney beans, tomato PASTE not spaghetti sauce, lentils. food and drink rich in iron.
Ryan Phillippe: i feed the pig. in fact i'm quite frugal with my coins. i dry my laundry outside by the pool. i only appear in ONE episode of a TV series.
Saturday-morning cartoons: laughter, your kids knew about wellness in the '80s before wellness was a buzzword for adults in the 2020s.
at the Berkeley public tennis courts covered in good graffiti located in the center of the park.
Emma Raducanu: back.
Nick Kyrgios: you're back? you're coming back?
Emma Raducanu: no, my stiff back. i'm canceling the rest of my year.
Peter Griffin: you finally won, America. you got the matchup you always wanted: Family Guy vs. South Park on Wednesday gets. who will win> the Poe eras or the conservatives, who have the Tetris does?
Ruth macFralan: the answer is the good guys.
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Eater eggs: ever meat to end dripped form a helicopter.
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Fred Zakaria: rial the Lutheasn are a ratona [lol.e they CNA focus's politics Ina circa.
Ken Rl it;s gunny when your size how SDHORT David conchs footpath actually is.
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Julia Ioffe l I athr wanted m t ena Rsusoan spy.
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t the park.
me: I gotta get out of here, I need to go to BLT Moe. PT have one of y likely ladies SVIPP me upon to Baltimore. I would side k fie savings o na ticket to Baltimore if ice oudl, do I even DVE a life saig anymore> o a that kit an l80s thing/
Lindy Kenz: I would not KY house has no oof.
me: and you.........oh go I'm gonna cry I;m ally gonna cry. I will never stop being your friend, I'll mEVR stop answering your ETS, but;e LL I got.........even though WE CS NEVRR BE.
Heh RL it;s a pipe dream., not think about it, some of the est skateboarders skated pipes.
Tony HwkL for a skateboarder I lead an ID merfolk NOIRNSL life.
Jen P to he's y binky sale then slaps m ayce.
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Tom hanskL body invited me to their last prom, ic nail dance.