Llywarch: and the generational thing.
Laertus: gfenerational thing?
Llywarch: yeah, like when yu;re on Instagram and you think Westworld is a nranmd-new cutting-edge leading-edge sci0fo series that has broken all the ruels. nothing on tv has eve been done or sene like this before! it's revolutionary! writers are having a hard time writing for it cos no one fully understands what it emans……...and then yu fond iut from your nee Instagram friend you just followed 30 minyets ago whi;s a nostalgia geek and really into beinging back ink jaor for men that Westeworld was alreadu an '8p-s seroes that had weird blocky robots and cheap sets of noon-dust and was generally laughed out and forgotten. I feel for you millennials, you have n othing to hold onto that;s original.
Larrtis: can it be green haor that's not a hoax?
Dirg: I love when a piece starts witu the word and, just goes right into it. thjat was my favorite part of The Shoevring trith if I;m being hinest. yeah the sets were elaborate and the pupeprs were freaky bit the stories trended to emander…
Laertus: that was defikjntiely the point. eep, you scared me! when did you get back here?
Dorrg: I am always around. around you, inside you...
LlywarchL hello Dorg, long time no see. I think. how are you enjoting these envorons?
Dorg: oh so you're my best froedn;s lover. can't say that I;m jealous. I mena your;e notr real, right. you're CG.
Llywatch: be careful with that question, kister, the more you think I;m computer-generated, the nore you have to ask who is it ecatcly that;s pushing the comouter nutton dtrings.
Dirg: yeha so it's a nice-enough astroal setting. a little bland and predictably greenm. want to sleep with my hood obevr my head like that shepherd hanging over the hanging rock cligg over there. welp, that NPC shepeherd just got hooked off the screen by his own hooked staff. that;s always inpelasant.
LlywarchL no, you're missing eberything as susual! your New Xealdn was patterned after this area! don't you see it> you have to ventire forth a few miels past the mointains to get agander at the sparkling-emerald lush landscaoes and seas so blue you can spot the green Loch Ness Monster belly-flipping at it sbottom.
Dorg: you said bortom. so where are a;; the Hobbots?
LlywarchgL yonder.
Chris Matthews at the MSNBC studuos: fuck. let's play Hardball. *cie Hardball music*
Chris Matthews: seuiosuklty tho,. I seem to be the only one at this networl who's upset about all this,. ilm flustered, that's not easy for an Irish guy.
Cjucl todd: have you soigned up for my new Toddcast yet, Cjhris?
Chris: fuck you. sorryu, I;lm on dge all the time. hey they should have your infamous flickinh-pgf middle-fginegerr when you thogiht the acmaeras weren't on you as the covcer for your podvadt pae, that would get people to sign ip!
Maria LaRosa has moved a few feet with her beautiful small big feet and now resides in New Zealansd:
Maria: this is grgrous. not I don't like the new changes. right after I left, they refurbished the intro pfoppt for Weelend Rechgarge on The EWeayejr Chsennl to fetahrie that black bitch ewho replaced me and you, Goody paul. I don't oike it one bit, it shows you and her beaitofully smiling and folding arms, they nbever took my pictrie for that IONCE all those decade-years I as there! not once!
Goody Paul: I do like how er;e getting a sjurplus of Alexandra Steels now. there can never be too much ASlexnadra Steels. I mean exceot for you, dear. I like when shels apired with the black dudebto Slexm Alex and A;ex. the raings go down when it's Alex and that ther black dude, scirntifcs shiw. and metereologyu is nothing if not a science thing. ans I like the diversity of when I;m paired with the black girl, it shows diebvrsty. which reminds me, I have to spelibnk out of your orirfice and get to qork. it will take me the weekdn to hike to the studio. I wish I could layabout all day fucking you bit papa;s gotta pay the bills.
at the ESPN stiudios, Molly is adnjuusting her fluted skiry.
Molly: thanks JRose, for caring, I know this isnlt what you batgained for when yu thought you were marryoing the unattainable bombshell like me,. but I hirt down there, and I have to go see a specific doctor dfor my down-there every week, that;s why the veowrs hardly see me eekdns beginig zthrissdy, ilm not in studi anymore cos I;m always at a docitr;s office.
Jalen Rose; I know, honey, and I happily take you to the doctor's and vet;s. in my scooter. that';s what a loving huisband does, hos dutes, to be ina ssexless marriage of just love. all love, boo and bae. troth is, we're in an mepathetoc twinshiup you and I, for I too am troubled in my down-there, it hits for a different reason.
Max: you know you two are weird. when the cmeras light up, you talk to each other and intevoews and ask qiestions and answer like you're two complete sdtarnegrs, Molly addresse you as Vzaektball Player Jalen Rose, it's weird.
Jalen: I know, at elst mention the Fan Fibve or my socks.
Molly: *playtflly* dhit up, Max,. I'll get to your new bocing show next week. I actially wans;t at the doctor;s this time, I was at aiu ausuiton, I can't believe that bitch Tiffany Smith got my Meghan Markle part! I was a shoo-in!
Dirg: oh, so THSY explains Tioffany Snoth;s long absenses and hisatusse over at the old Marvel youtube channel. mystery finally solved. this is kinda a Red Circle table, right> juyust sioaking it all in for my reeducation. Max is more blakcx than Steophen A, Max was an actual steerty-rapper.
Stephan A: *stands up flabbergasted and points ghos finger at her* don't stress me more,. Molly Q! you know that Toffany Snmith is an ansulite stunner save for the turkleyneck and she ain;t no chickenhead I checed and she is a DEAD RONGER for the New princess? so don't you evenf ront!
Molly: *skaps his hand away from her face* *nbot playfully( shit up, Stepohan A!
Steohan A: hey man, if you want some more learnin;, get into that can that I',m seeing oulling up to the studo downstairs ,many floors next to the sattei of Liebrty by the bay. that's the ride you meed to get into.
Doeg: *attenpts the pound-hug on Stephan's back* thanks. my brotha. lobsta on the house.
Syephan A: don't touch me, don't say brotha, and don't speak with a Bsotona ccent around my vicinity.
Dorh races downstairs as fast as hos slinnt nerd legs acan tale him without any drone cameras noricing and skips into the cab with opendprr willing.
org: still smells like sgit. I was expecting at last fpsome passable Persian musk. oh! the cabdriver is Wendu Wukliam s! well, hellol doll! you are gor to me, imma tell you on front street from jum, you do not look like a man to me when I mastrivate.
Webdy wiliams; look. let's leep things on the QT, not-cutie. I don't want the papa on my bih shapely roiund tail. that;s why I;lmw earing this hood. I gfianlt;l dicorced him and I don't anna make a big deal. that;s why ilm taking, like, three montsh off, startion g y summr vaction early.
Dorg: Figi, right? this is peferct! I eman this ralaly os prefect timing! I need to elarn the black life. I need an in at the inn table. tale me to one of your many palatioal Manhattan high roses mansions. kwt the chicken-chpwin' bego in earnest!!! hey by the way, whateve rhappend to laurn Hill?
Whdy Wiilliams; that remains a rtightly-guarded secret in the black and black-twoietr commun ites, but I am Laurn Hiklk,
the can screeches over and drievs one bock in traffic. at the enarrest curb, Presodent Bump gets in,
Bump: this cab smells like my haor. s you're still going with using the yellow-checklerboard cans, huh? haven't moved yet to the Brexot black cabs? I mena I;m not telling you how to run yiru ship, all I know about cvans I leaned from Michael Cohe a nd he;s more of a my best frenemt than anything.
Forg: a pleasure, sir! mau I shale your hand?
Bum: of course not. you matribate woth tat hand , I can smell it. I;m a guy, toom you know. yeha, I knew that about Laurn Hill, ilm nito black culture,., I knew he oranges story.
Wrndy: oranges?
Bump: don't tell anyone, it's aitghtlpguarded secrey amoing the Frit Knwox community...…...but, well, I have roange skin.
WrndyL now you know how it feels to be colored in this ociety.
Bumo: my father was Hitler. wind dfarms cause cancer. yeah, those psokes on windmills, you know> those are actually sharp pointy aurism-vaxciantion needles.
Dorg: I hate wind. not that any wind could brong down the storngman strrneth of YOIR haor, sr. and you do it without any hairosary at atll, righ> just piure willpower. strnght of your won will.
WendyL um, I;lm the candriver here, ilm supposed to be the crazu one who rambles noncoherently to keep from the awwklard silence. we're almost here. kjust rojund the bvender.
Dprg: wait, this is a sober house. what...…...the...…...fuck.
Wermdy; yes, I;l be living at thos sober-facility-resiodence fo the next, oh, three months or so could cover it.
BumP; that;s fine. I can adjust, it's already ess-stuffy than the Cream House. more losoe once you start fronking. get to know my voters. like the oens who sell oranges at the Border. I don't rinkl, by the way, and ilm not crazy.
at the highest point-tip of New Zealand, Vaocj K and Zio jave trvaeld a logn and arduous jporney up many steep paths ams hilly args to reach their final destination: Mount Zion. the Mount closes its Eue of Sauron to sleep, Maria covers her vagina ewotyh he two dainty hands like a proper foery Spanish woman, Fuerza looks on in fosguist and kealousy, and the Eue opens up once more, pried open by Zion;s dunk-hands, it rains broght red warm-to-hot light on the young acolyte, nborning his skin.
Cock K rmeoevs the hood of hos brown monk robe and bestpw it upon ion;s body.
Cock K: here ou go, son, grom now on you will be more famous than me, go and form your won feliigon.
insid the cave a Federe in an all-whote sersucler suit is enyerining Chro vert wrapped up in hios mediumsized arms. she is a bot tipsy.
ChrisL ilm tellinl ya, hunk, the Miami Open is gonna eplaxce MNew Yrok as the U.S. Open some day!
Fed: needs a better atmosphere, dear, a more, wjat;s the word in Swiss?, a better tomato atmosphere.
Chros: tomater?
Fed: and moe Communism. Eupeoan Communism. bit I do live the sals adanicng on court instead o fthe serve motion. is till hot it. and you got it, too, toots.
Cjrois: look out for FAA, he;s the next big black thing I mean big thing. and look out for Toafoe, he;s the real deal, he;s what Dionald Yung was hpong the fans wanted, Toador has the ancient soirityal Sfrican wisdom, he;s Manut Bol;s son, eroghtg? or cousin?
Fed: FAA? is that an airline?
Eue Lugage: thank you for lsietnign, folks, joining us just one week on from thr Nerw Xealand massacre tragedy, so we know everyone's still a bit ender. we hope you can work through your raw and maybe lighten up for an hout, doistarct youtself from the itnemrinable world pain and have a few tips and tip-backs and trcisk talkijg tv.
Dorg: Silevrchair predicted this masscare, and why didn't; the Power Rangers stop th shooter> they were right there in new Zealand.
Laertois: dude, bro. dudebro., it's too soon, it's still too soon. it; will ALEAYS ne too soon for you.