you know that Jurassic Park amber that looks like a giant blondie confection golden brownie? it's good enough to eat despite that huge dragonfly stuck in the middle of it.
you know i never really got into Jurassic Park after Goldblum left, it just wasn't the same. i had his last TV GUIDE with me in my coat pocket on an unusual L.A. wintry day, the coldsnap chattering the teeth of my underwear. it was the last-ever TV GUIDE in digest size. i inquired of the landlord but he said Jeff had been kicked out of his apartment...
1. what is the biggest part of your body? my eyes. i have anime eyes.
2. what is the best bad decision you ever made?
reminds me of that Sheryl Crow song "My Favorite Mistake". it was continuing with this blog. back then i was desperate, i had just quit college the summer before 9/11 and i was rudderless as a motherfucker. i mean i really had no other option, it was this or stare at the four walls all day staring at the carpet on my ceiling as i watched upside-down the last embers of MTV2 playing Marilyn Manson videos...
3. what is the silliest reason you got in a fight with someone?
like most great fights, i don't remember. what the cause was. and who started it. all i remember is we ended up having sex from it. we were already going through the motions punching and kicking.
oh yeah, it was whether Robert De Niro could play silly. De Niro had done funny in his career, but he had never done silly...until Bullwinkle...
4. what is your favorite thing about your best friend? he's imaginary.
5. if 5 men take 3 hours to dig 3 holes, how long will it take for 2 men to dig half a hole?
BONUS: would you rather be itchy or sticky the rest of your life?
i've had horrible itchy athlete's foot, it is not fun. well it is kinda fun when you dip your foot ankle-high into a vat of blue powder. plus i'm a foot fetishist so it wasn't too bad to lick the powder off. don't know why the powder was flavored blueberry tho...
now as for the sticky i have a confession to make: all of you have known me for years as the one and only Spider-Man. i save lives, make quips but only after i've had my coffee like a grandpa. and...boom! wow...that smarts, just thought of my grandpa and started crying...
...what was i saying? i swing from building to building in the city even though that causes a planned power outage to avoid forest fires. but all this time i wasn't able to scale walls. it was a sticky suit. a sticky suit i wore on the inside.