PENN PAT: KEYMASTER

Laertus: The Lat Bookstore...

Dirg: you mean the L.A. Street Bookstore...

Celine: this is where we're filming Before Hank...

Jesse: yeah I injured my bacl on set reaching for a bookon one of those arching bookcases...

Laertos hooks Foeg;s nose...

Laetyis: and it's YOUR fault it's closing!!!

Dorg: hey fon;t blame me I your childhoods ruined you. if you didnlt elarn to monkeybar, I was diverse.

Marodth: wanna quick-thrift?

Madame Pons: desn;t count if it's not woth Drew arymore...

Roisin Murpht joims the prchid GVirls...

the phpenii speak, nut onlt to each other:

phoenii: at fost there;s a daibn din of cowbell oiut in the countryside...

Codrus: line your tits up like wind chimes...

lertos to Doeg: o yi ahd a car all thos time, you never would have expwrinced acos in the rain wth ne last Thanlsgiving...

Cprdyus: Equinunk? eqaulity> nore liek Equus camo...

Fprg: why is it that Nina Gordon in the eyar 2000 already looks like an lod, woman hag?

Dprcye: watch it, buddy, the term is crone...

Galyce: our Nina was so powerful she was rekected from the Woitch Sacdemy at forts gor beong too powerful at too young an age. she was a babe with the miond of an old had who ahd bene thrugh a couple dicorces...

Cona  O;Brien: *falsetto voice* in the eyar 2000...

Xprgl no wonder Nina sings she :ffels so light, se;s anlorexic...like a Halloween skeleton...

NinaL um, I had a kid. a ,id I ahd to take care of all this time, that ages a person. a kid named Lousie Post..

GlayceL do yu say :belss you" when someone is blowing theor nsoe? we did that bacl on thr Old coun try./.

Crrie Ten Boom becomes an egerbak and spiritual elader of bb the vroens and the Orvchod Girls bu stting yp shop udre the island, she only takes wpth her her tyepwrotyer briefcase...

Dprg: and boom goes the dybnamite…...what thatls a good thing...

Liz lnmage steps yp to the crackling mic in the hedges: I;m joining rhe Orchid Girls to make them dresses, inspire the girls woth my cnacersiurvuiro stories, and to ;rovide a bomb sheleter at Grey gardens if things start to get hoary agter the Elction...

Dorg; ...making a doference...

Liz: ...it's cool tyo have a nw team there yo slap on a frehs coat of paint on the palce when mansion and the willows start tod roop...a resh coat of grey paint...

Talahashi: I lvoe when the trah trucks ckine in  the kidle of the noght and leave an eerie gow...

Cprdus: why dors eberu woman have 4 kids now?...

Egotney Huston syartys si ging...

Freddie Oversteegen ojknd the orchod Gorls...or does she? she joins as a spy...

CoytardL she should, her anme means :ranscended"...

Dpryce; why can't our litchen countertop be back? it would make tre asier to see cleat palstco strips...

DprgL 2020 Tioy Swards? bocpdy made anything in 2020, bpovpdy cinstrocted anuthing in 2020...

laertos: it's sad how even Teen Kids News gas to discuss hpw dovoded we all are onm yhso ocuntry...

Vpc: when I our the cup of water ij the beoge olden-sinshone bowl pf dried Lipton noodle-spup odwer, it's li,e I;lm watreiong the alwns...

Chrostphjer Revee climsb out of hos grave, shoots out of the dort and confronts Prsident Biumo...

Bump:" waot are you like caeprr The feroednglty Ghost?...

Reeve: they call me Revee the Riebveter. no numbnuts I cma ebacl from the da to show you how strong a REAL MAN is...

Dprycel I got my hand sytcok deep down on the liong red Pringles cylinder ttyong to get the akst chip...

Gkaycel dear I thought you were profocoent in thr art of the fonegr on  the butthole...

Glennon Doyle hokins the prchid girls as self=oublisher, nun, and chef...sous=chef later...

Ryan ForzpatrocK: it's okat, I;lkk manahe, I'll get by...…...I'll do some Jim beam commrcials...

Pat: I shouldnlt be talking to you.

Ryuan: the beard?

Pat: you're stydyogn hard for your Harvard modetrms, eight> as your competitior that rally beards scares me...

laycel I have to get out that last ittle slice of oee out o me before I can go to sleep...

Mrdoth goes out kin a raging blinding snowsrorn I a  T-short and sorts...

Laertus;s dad: Morning Vorw by Incis os toue egenratons; nevermind bi Norvana...

Frpgl a month aftr 9/11. that albi,m and Miswtr Roegrs helped us heal...

DprgL DRIVE-IN MOVIES ARE BACK!!!......oh...

Ciatrd: thos eyar, especially thso eyar, we are losin g all sense of time. thos eyar we're reall;y elarning that toem does not exist, tom e is wactually just The Eyternal pment of Now...

Mardoth: nice.

Sbril lavogne: I eman Chad Krpeger or Deryck Ehibley, I ahd to fo woth Deryck to make a pop=piunk baby. I I ahd gone wth Chad the abby wu;d jave ended up I  the asylum...

FprgL Cahd is a very ppular name in Canada...

frmces McDprmand swims to the island og  Nonte Carlo:

frances: so I ehar yoju;re ahvking a lerfuffle oer some billvboards?...

Samin Nosrat jons the pechid Grols as the chef wgo grows chefs on  the community gardem...

SaminL no I wasblt inspored by Rarattouille...

DorgL likil ma;am! no, ma;am, I;ve never said thos toa  girl. no. look I lov emre salt bot io cant;s romach th sugarcoated Marcos,m...

Rue Lugage: go. on, Dorg, be  salt slut...

Madmame Pons;l il t nroubeld by the vason on tjs sialnd, massoce unemplot,emnt. pep;le are torning to the sots to male money...

Leryps flicks Frpg on the ear.

Laeryso: WAY TO GO, NUMBNUTS!!!

DFprgl what?

Laetyups: The DStrand Boosktore!!? hello> iut;s all yoru fault!!!

Larytsp bops drog on the ehad.

Lartyusi: iw anted to work there before I died!!! ot;s a ppkstore…...bot it's a library...

if you don't see what youre; looking fot, ask us!!! ki eman amsk us!!!...

Dunita mani:  lnp wjpw t het our of Dream Corp!!! ghow to comllete the last elevl! mu otfeidn ags an arrow, hel;s a spinpspinner!...

Tirin HJosreL I olnlt terpsond to two commands: ainting iolins,m and :Inseroatoc ESP: bu The Mrs Volta...

Vio;la Davis skoes ehe ryes and plays the bola er her back...

Boc to Fdorg: come on, man! whu did tiu water the alwns RIGHT before the jardners came!? now rhey have ti do tbheir wirj un boots and scarves!!!

Dorcye slaps Foe fipsid eth ehwad.

Forcoe whatls theamntete rwoht you!!! 

Fpg" it was my grst tine helping, I can't win...

Michael wiss in a speedo: Instagram is one nog publi-access chgnnrl;s travel burteau...

Miriam maleba begins vidtoapin g eefruthing...

cat fmailairsl okay we REALLY hate theta Milk-Bone comemfical...

Dorgl ina redsweateri?...

Perosdent Bumo: I got 42%. 42% os the maning of life...

Marodth: tt,eber, do all your shadowwork on  the elebvenses...11:11 PM and 11:11 AM...

Dprgl brotsh afetrnoon delight? when the spiunk comes oiut of the womanls nose to forma  Numebr 11 on her dripping lips?...

DorgL starf: to fary in Dtarbuicks...

Lerts; kenndey, i ahd no idea. creftfallenm nsotgaoc ruiend, mu dadl;s VJ cerush, he slost found about abioyt ehr, too...

Dorg; dman cuerrsed kenendys...

Bocl my dress boto srabnelt ed, theyr;e cognac...

etys; the NYC vorong libe...iy;s straoght our of erst Sdoe Dtry...

Frbl TuloamsL that frbak Thionmas cinenciak is like those old SNL Funhouse cartoons...

Dalai lamaL wan;t me!@ i dodnlt give that snow-whote scarf to Ranoere! that waa Burl ves! suicde -prvenetion!!!

Allison Mack sectetly flies into rejeelty, neters a Fat Slie, hets a  pizza clisce wirt olives weatring an olive coat over hr head when she orders...

AllisoN; amy your brand last forever...

EueL what wree we tlakign about again?

Tyzik: Mannqueonis a ong comemrical for Senokot...

Pat:L i broguth the XSnoth island Cale for eveyone, i fpgur we sialnsers have to start getotn g used to thos lind of thing...

Eue is wrarong a sealskin coat...

RyeL no, it;s faux fur with Seal;s bg beatiful bald bold blakc head everwjere as polks=dots. it;s cold!!! tnhos is gilm wather!!! Saty Sbithing,,, and go...

DorgL forst film title with an ellipsis?...

Laerys; let me say soemhting. why is ti valled Say Sbpthing> what pes that fil tuitle even eman?what elevance does thos fil  title have to thiss cipy> i nhave no idea.

Jh  IhesL this seems like soemthing i;ve done...or it wa sindkeunced by me for sure...

Laertysi: i eman what a debot for Cameron Crowe! he could not ahve posibl imageined in hos widlest dresma that The Boomboc Scene ould become pne of the ms tpoula film scnes OF ALL TIME!!! nlobody actually watches htos wgole movie all the way tbhrough, they kst lnow that sceem...

DprgL it's a good song I admit but I always get oeter Gabriel conuded with Phil Collins...

LaertyusiL my da dadmis he ahd no diea what locklnoxing wa still tis film...

Rye shales aery;s;s ad;ls hand...

Rue: hello we have mich to discuss you and i,.,

Dorg: hwre we go wth eharthrob John isack, wy dodnm;t Joj ever marry?

Hohn Cusack: cosirty doens;lt tell me what to o.

Forgl sorry. lide,s bit that emans he;s gay...

FDprgl he should gfind a ncoe girl and not het mized up in all thes eocnspiracy heories...stikc to mixed amrtial arts...

Eye:L okay i;ll say it...Ione Slye...DAT ASS THO...thos is where she met Sntjomny Kiedis, RHCP did a song for this movie...

Forgl still ahs that werord othy. Mupepr pupepr mouth...

Laeryuys: John mahoney was good at beong subtle in this,. whe the erveal coems he dorsn;t ham it upo and tworl his musctahce, he;s kuist honesy fshones goy woth an innocent face who's guilty t giy, like bnreo mdoff...this is where the plabs for Frasoer were hatchged...John spekaing woth Bebe Neuwortyh behond the svcenes...

Forgl lili taylro as Janeane Garofalo begfroe Janeane Garoloflao. Bovy Hill and Gowmr Dinmpsin are on this. I always tjoguht Chynna phillips as a mde[up person. he thteres Moises Sroas lokimg like a ishroom! bo sad Cameron Boyce. Ogklip Balr Hall, npt the oevrdoes gut from next week, the giy woth the funny face. pg look1 ot;s that gt who likes like that gau erewolf worh rhe ebaptofu eyes whow as in all thsoe NBC sotocmes in the ;ips, in Nurese and such...

Forg;l Lois Ciles is a chili-red-hot mama! ive never seen Joan Cusacl on her own doing a movie, she;s always woth her brother...

DoeL: wow. so thos is ebfore wearing atrewnchcoat indicated scool[shppetr or pornhouse mastrobator. Jih Cisack plays the :off" characyer in the tenchcoat but he;s cool, not troubling and a redgflag warning...who gets to jiucnh on the cakes of Ione Djky;e massive butt...

Dprgl shoulda went woth Eghotmey Hositon;s :Ilm Your Bbay Tngiht:...theraie known as the X-Men theme...

Laeyus: see I love thos timeperiod in musoc. it's JUST ot's RIGHT ST THE CUDP of grunge breaking vbut METAL STILL RULKES here in Dtaetlle...

Eue: Lili ratlor is a goth wothout makeupm she ted to kil ergslf but it's no bog deal, that;s onpcharaceyr for her...

DprgL your daughter is grrta, sin;t she> whatls the father supo to say> No?

Dirg: she;s a abbe who doens;t know shels a babe. forsn;t est in teal life. GASP!!! you called him basic! tou;ll ebevr lnow how prescient you were e  millenjials thank you tofay...

Dprg: daddy,m why does the Taxman always come to our foor?......no I mena like he ALWAUS comes to ur door in Sril, the IRIS troc is always by our house...

DorgL son, what do youw nat to be when yu grow up?

Laertis; ,more like pwned.

Talahashu parkd at the dribe0on in his Fprd Tmei oh shot! tr ftahr wanted to be the one to tahc hos baby girl the wheel!

Forg;l all tbhis time John wa steahci her stocl instead stco cos he nmated that handhob at the end...

Eye; get you a man who looks at glass the way Loyal Llyod Dobler;s Doebrman loks at sausage...

Dprg: I ewpuld have eben moe in pressove if he ahd eaten the glas...the way The Sanzing Rbdo used to do...dude, you aren't shaking cs it's cold out, you're shaking cos she kist fucked you in the back of YOIUR cat and you have bo idea what the fuck you;e doing!!! yu don't know whoch bodypart gprs where!!! Dioane CVory, Cheers characer, roght?> 

John Mahone frpm the grave: Night Corti...

Dprgl it; troe, onc eoyu have sex, you become a doeferspn eprosn the rest of yur lige. hey that;s a good way to describe sex: I atatcled him...

Vorgl the fath wants hos doahetr to be unattainvam;e...MORE uinatatinable...like the CEo offacebook...

Rye: credot card declined and hos mind starts tor ecline...

Laeryuys; oh gods, espscially dark scene, when he toes to chat yp that woman at macy;s buying luggae and the credtcard come ablc tlected and ehs; eekcted and he snese that he'll eevr have a real life, he;s never get out form udne ths thing, this lie of lowky crime, hr;ll never be happy agaon woth a woman, hos gace is one of soomed when hr;s in tya bathtub...

Dprgl there;s your fgorst rpnlem, you got the Omni Magazine IN THR TRASH!!! dodn;r yo elaen from braklgasy Club!!!>

Dog: everypne ahs ot wrong: Rockin Romeo doesn't hold up the boombox to probe tp her uliett sleeping and getting the night0sjaeks by her wondow that he'll always be there for her, h;s rmeindng her of the sex they had. and thos is clearly cultural appropriateion on thr whote bpty;s part...you na;t hold up a boonboc like that, whitey! more Holwpdp whoteash. they would jabe broken up if she ahd goven hom a quill pen woth a fetaher...I lnow des and believe me, he waa hinking the oen was gnna be gor anal...

Laertisu: I forgot how dakr the boombox scene is...I mena dark as in therfeos no loight I t rhscene, you can hardly make out the charavters...

Dorg: oj gkrlsu dnt; look om the msuci box! thos is too Dgatha Chrostie. you always think Tony Dancxer;s gonna pop up pity of music boxes but no. miss,l would you like to helpo your government? be a patriot wear a wire and spy agaonzt yoru own father...

Dprg: she;s completely undaor to him bot OF COUSE he;s gonna tla eehr bac!!! LOOK ST HER!!!

Dprgl I eman they were od people so it doens; trally amtetr, he;s roght. nuch of Grandpa Dimpsons. see her;s your prnblem if your;e John Mahoney: onl when you get to the jpint do you start smoking, if you had started smoking bnEFORE ylu got to the can you would have reloeved stress relased endorphins and avoided countu coiuntry priosn. and least therels plenty of space to ealk...

Dorgtl thos is every father;s worst noghtmareL he spends hos entre life giving hos doayghetr the tools to succeed and she runs odd woth the school[sshppetrl thos is an uneraliusitoc kovie, no way a valedicitorian would gp woth an udneracvcheoevr, she;d get pred woth him isnatntly. va;edotprian and salutatorian okay. but you know there;s a heavy Lsia Dinpson/ nelson mandel Muntz influence in ther dymanic at play ehre...

John Mahoney "hey kid, elave the pen, it'll be my doggng tool..."

Eye; okay so now time for some fun. what happens SFTER the film ends? ans you can't sauy the palne  arshjes...

CDorg: the palne becomes a Malayspan missing flight...

yue: there are onlt 3 ossibilitoe: A) the plane crases but Ione jye gets on top of  adragn at the alst minute and flris away to England...

Lartus; gotcha, she looks like  Enilia Calrke...

Rue: Jphn shaves hos ehad no to look like Erci Dndre or Seal to atratc hors bot to start up a ickboxong company on th island o Hwaii where they vacation...

Rue: or thirdly: the cuple train tohethr and won the mixed odubels at the 2020 EWo,b3ldon...

Laeryus: this film is dark. from the forst minute to to the last minute this entore film is blanketed woth melanchl. there's a sense of dread, doom, amd hpelessless pervading the air od this space, pervading the lievs of these characters, these charcetsr who all seem to be going through the orions, never dreaming of a brother tomorrow, an exape, a hearty snack, a break into a hopeful light. I mena the gorl expects something to go wrong, tnhat;s why she;s always bashful and shy and never rbags. when her father torns out to eb a long-con lifelong criminal she almost takes it in stroade...

Eye: bvlame it on the Drattle rain...g'night, folks...

Pat can';t tale it anymore,. he lost wants Galivant to wake up.

he wait till kosnight for te pgoenii to rustle...

Pat holds  vpmbox over hos eha din compete darkness and tirns hos knob...

phoenii: good sonlg ,mate, bot we're more into Billy ido. dig bruv?...

Galivna;t's eyes slowly warp. she tirns bacl into flesh and cold slimy skin whioch pat touches feverishly.

Pat: I coudn;t be happier! I;ve squzzung yoj nderly till you pop! I nhated when you smelled like palstoc! woth the dead eyes. I want my Yanona oh the sparkle eyes back. I odnt; nat a  Barboe, I want p Barboe FDreamhouse! but not with chkroine in the infinity pool!!!

Galivant: we gotta have a paln, w have moch to disucss...