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TMIT: SUGAR NIPS!!!
Joe Pera: these are sugar nips.Princess Leia: no, they're the scissors used to make my hair into cinnabon buns...Joe Pera: you're my mother. my show never says who my parents were...Princess Leia:...
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PRINCETON PAT: INTIMATE BOX
Warren waits at Epping Forest shaking her head:Warren: where is everybody? what happened to this glidepath we were on? all i've seen all day the past few weeks are a couple of fairies and it's not what...
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DARYL
notes:* not the jet. nor the kid who turns into the jet or some such* Daryl: people used to come out for a blurry photo of me.Flo: now stupid cameras have autofocus and bokeh so you can't take a blurry...
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TMIT: THAT'S THE GIRL FROM THREE BUSY DEBRAS!!!
i LOVE Three Busy Debras!!! it's not just that it's the female version of Stella in white suits. i love their play on words, their surrealism, and there's a bit of Dadaism thrown in...make that...
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THEY DIDN'T ASK HER THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTION!!!
notes:* gypsy: i'm better than Miss Cleo...…...not a racist remark...* girl who is in every commercial: Mercedes Benz or peace sign?gypsy: peace signs are now making ventilators...* gypsy: before we...
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TMIT: THE FIRST TIME I FORCED MYSELF TO DANCE...
1. if you are self-isolating, under lockdown orders, or quarantined, what is your main daily activity? not dying2. would you rather be alone for the rest of your life or always be surrounded by...
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PAT'S PREP: THE LESSER CHILDREN
school sucks. but this is different. this will be different for Pat. because this is no ordinary high school. this is Pat's school. this is Nice Guys High. and soon the body of the school will become...
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ARTIST RENDITION
notes:* the woman, of couse, is the osychoc from the previous commercial. the teinvarnated spirit of Drchoe Bunker as a 2020 modern wman, the man is the lovechild of Kerry eeingfeld and George...
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TMIT: MY SUPERMARKET HAS RUN OUT OF TAPE COS IT'S COVERED IN TAPE
1. as the world deals with covid-19, are you masturbating more?that is the perfect entre into this week. that is the perfect question the more you think about it. as i am fond of saying,it's Easter,...
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PAT'S PREP: STEFFI GRAF ON THE BEACH
Pat: i'm nervous.Julie Brown: you're always nervous.Pat: it's Homecoming. just the name of it. the concept of it. it's too gargantuan for my skinny body. it's always an underwater theme and i can't...
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BOWIE SIGHTING
notes:* I don't get it. where are the Bowie sightings? they should be occurring frequently now. where are all the Cibain sightings for that matter!?* forst mistake: should hav ercucled, not trashed*...
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TMIT: MARGARET CHO IS THE OG MC!!!
1. do you like pain? only the Naruto character2. would you say you have a high or low tolerance for pain?i like it rough, so physically, yes. the emotional side of it is more tricky. when she berates...
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PAT'S PREP: '80s CHEESE
Julie: are you okay? i was worried sick!Pat's tongue in the morning has been hung out to dry for hours and is hanging by his ankles. he is stuffed inside that locker so well his body is a pretzel pizza...
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WEARING NOTHING BUT MY STAN SMITHS
notes:* yeah so there used to be this cool 3-minute commercial around about 2016 or so which had the adidas Stan Smiths and all the cool celebrities at the time---Black Eyed Peas and Neo and Elmo and...
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TMIT: I CALL DAVID ATTENBOROUGH DADDY
The Utter Nonsense Edition, has that Monty Python ring.1. so, what's your typical work uniform if you are working from home? orange bodysuit. with those reflective patches.2. are you eating more ___...
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PAT'S PREP: FORMAL FUCK
Julie drags Pat to the golf course. not the muni one mind you, the one relatively kept-up and nice by Van Nuys standards. no, the school one. which is mini and long and a squeezed 18 holes and slender...
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NED FLANDERS HAS AN EXTREMELY LARGE PENIS
notes:* Phoenix the director: question, does the American standard change over time?...* Phoenix: heads up cast and crew. hurricane season begins June 1 so we urge you to get your generator. direct...
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TMIT: HUMP HUG
my priest taught me about the three kinds of hugs. as he was grabbing my ass one day.much like the three kinds of love, the first hug is the handshake.the second hug is the one where you touch the...
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PAT'S PREP: LARGE'S ARK
"I hate blondes!" exclaims Julie at Don's Plum for a post-dance drink. the two are wearing their nonformal street clothes, she wears Mr. T, he wears Phylicia Rashad.Julie: but you knew that already. i...
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RENT OR YOU GET SLIMED!!!
notes:* Snake Mountain ain't no Regal Beagle! this ain't the fun kind of slime, this is the slime pit!* you know what won this the $10,000? the voice.* heads up: Nursery Crimes, why was this episode...
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