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TMIT: DRESSISTENTIAL TIMES, THE ALIEN SALUTE UNITES THE HUMANS
yeah i mean how could they have possibly determined what belongs here and what belongs there? what's white and gold to an executive is just gold to a peasant. this is how situations end up black and...
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BICONDITIONAL
Cucumber: i was strangely calm when i pulled you out though we were in the midst of something that had never happened before. i think i knew. i knew you. and i knew me for the first time. nobody had...
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, MEMENTO MORI
no, it's later this month, but i decided for a preemptive strike before Google trolls me again. in honor of the seminal Happy Birthday Song episode of Regular Show, i was lost and found this SNL skit...
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TMIT: RIGHT SWIPE LEFT SHARK
learned:*CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINKlearned:* this commercial played so much it made me nervous. incessantly at every break. i started smoking again.* reaffirmation of how much i love...
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MAINLY
Cotard: taking a shower here isn't the same like in the monastery. there was a unique quiet when you showered there, you were alone, the lights shone hazy like in a prison, the soap always had a brown...
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FINGER THIS SPACE
this needs to happen. i don't know if this pilot has since been picked up, but i need to see all 38 episodes from all 3 seasons on SyFy Network, including the strike-shortened one, and the made-for-tv...
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TMIT: PATTIES DIPPED IN SAUCE
1. you found your pot o' gold. how much is in the pot? what will you do with your gold? two bits. put it all into bitcoin.2. some things get better with age. have you? what specifically? length: 3...
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GLOBE OF SHOOTING OUT MAD ELECTRICITY
aboard a James Cameronesque experimental water vessel that seems like an Avatar but runs like a dream handler.Imzhan is sound asleep, snoring.Codrus (boot on his neck): wake up, the world's oyster is...
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CERTAINTY PRINCIPLE
MY BABIES, FIRST CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE AT THIS LINKTHEN please answer the following questions in the comments:1. think back on your life and name a time when you accomplished something on the first...
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TMIT: STOWAWAY OF MY HEART
Fabio is not merely my spirit animal, he is my best friend. we're cockpit brothers. ride or fly. #dead. he does this thing where he churns his milk, it's unbelievable what he produces, i eat it all up...
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BOSSCROSS
there is fire fire everywhere, not a drop to drink. there is no spot for green in this valley, the beleaguered villagers who have been through this so many times before always say they see spots of...
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PANIC FOR A MINUTE BUT PICK UP YOUR BUTTS, WE HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK
learned:* i cannot stress this to you enough, do NOT watch this while high, you must experience this sober for full effect. if you watch this high, all you'll see on your screen is a Tom and Jerry...
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TMIT: CAVEMAN DISCOVERS GOLD (SPOILERS: THE GOLD IS HIS HEART)
1. who has been the biggest influence in your life? my parents, my dad God rest his soul for being my intellectual and kindness example and my mom for being despite a very hard childhood the best...
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SQUARE ENVELOPE
Kenyatta: is this some sort of special joke?Manny: no, i can assure you, the calendar i follow doesn't have the month of April.Sunsong gets on her knees partly out of exhaustion and partly out of...
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SECRET RECIPE: 2015 NCAA COLLEGE BASKETBALL CHAMPIONSHIP BLOG GAME, ANYONE...
learned:* as you can see, the Colonel is bewildered. i'm keeping the Secret Recipe blog title i was gonna use cos there was no way Kentucky could lose but now it takes on a different meaning, not...
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TMIT: TAX TROLL
1. are taxies levied where you live? yes, in tropical coconuts2. do you pay your taxes? yes, everyone has their session with the bridgekeeper, it's a pain like going to the dentist but everyone has to...
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RESPEC
slowly but surely the cadre of Emblem, Atalan, Shaq, and cameraguy make their way back to the village from the basketball court in the jungle. they all see the flames overtaking the poor village and...
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HARD-TO-GET TICKET
learned:* hunk: mind if i jaunt briskly on the beach with you?babe: yes. i thought you were David Hasselhoff. i had it all planned out, we were gonna eat burgers and everything.* hunk: scram, ya bother...
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TMIT: LUCY AT 100%
1. what is the first garment that you remember? fig leaf2. what was your first favorite garment? naked3. what is your favorite garment now? Batman suit4. what garment of yours does your lover want you...
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STAFF
the boats scurry through the waters with giddy anticipation.Imzhan rises from his nap and places four strips of raw steak bacon into the very-tech bubble aboard ship. the enclosed round bubbles and...
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