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JFK SURVIVED: INVEST IN SILVER (PUCK HAS A MESSENGE FOR HIS DAD)
 JFK: i regret to inform you that the situation has only gotten worse. but i will not give up, we CAN'T give up, ever, EVERYONE in this country must be heard, deserves not to die on the mean streets,...
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TWO WORDS: MEXICAN PIZZA
 notes:* RORY STORY!!! come on, Rory McIlroy!!! we've waited a DAMN DECADE to see you in this position again!!! don't screw it up, Rory!!! i mean all your fans left you in droves swimming away from the...
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TMIT: ANONYMOUS #1
 1. what made the best sex partner you've ever had so good?the listening, learning, and doing. i listened to her. she told me EXACTLY what she NEEDED in bed. the sex had to be just right for her to...
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JFK SURVIVED: VIETNAM PROM (KEANU REEVES CAN'T PLAY A NERD)
  all flags are at half-mast.JFK: times are tricky. these mass shootings are a pandemic in this country for which there is a vaccine. we are taking it from both sides right now: homegrown terrorists...
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DIETRICH AND CHAPLIN: THE FIRST COUPLE-GOALS
notes:* Gladyce: i cut my spell-finger fetching the paper sugar-packets YOU throw in the trash EVERYTIME, I'M the one who has to transfer them to the recycling bin, i nicked my finger on the sharp...
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TMIT: THE BIG DOUBLE OO
 that OO up there looks like the infinity symbol...today is macaroon day. macaroon NOT macaron the French cookie. did you know if you search macaroon a bunch of pictures of the macaron pop up? it takes...
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JFK SURVIVED: MAD ABOUT THE BOY (RETAIL POLITICS, CLOSEUP AND PERSONAL)
Marilyn Monroe meets JFK at JFK's private smoking room and film room under the White House basement.JFK: can i bum a smoke off you? the Secret Service is on my ass to lose weight.Marilyn: sure, baby,...
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GLORIA SWANSON EATS CEREAL
 notes:* Ryan Reynolds: you are no Ryan Reynolds, Ben Barnes.Ben Barnes: i do not have a mother. i don't have YOUR mom. i am literally a bastard.* Meta: we're like Peloton but you won't die!!! well...
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TMIT: C&C MUSIC FACTORY: COSTELLO & COLBERT
 first pic up there, Colbert with the pipe looks like The Dad internet image, you know the god of those atheist spaghetti-eaters or something. Elvis Costello was my favorite music guest on SNL for...
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JFK SURVIVED: DEMOCRACY IS NOT A CULT (THE MACK COMEBACK)
JFK has an urgent meeting with MLK in his office.JFK: JFK MLK, it has a nice ring to it. like imagine JFK MILK as a social-justice brand.MLK: just get on with it, man. i ain't your Catwoman to your...
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STRAWBERRY FROSTY!!!
 notes:* Domino'smale newsreader: RIGHT NOW!!! 50% off online pizzas at Domino's.female newsreader: good, let's leave live on-air, working with you as my onair colleague has been torture. it either...
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TMIT: HERE, RANDOMLY
 1. has a stranger ever done something nice for you? what? she became my friend. and she lent me her beaten-up paperback copy of The Stranger by Camus. i never returned the book to her. because she...
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JFK SURVIVED: HINATA NUTS UP (THE MOON IS YOUR IKIGAI)
 JFK: you've heard my speech. we gotta nut up as humans. i'm sending a delegation to the moon made up of people from every country, county, territory, and failed state on the planet NOT funded by a...
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THE JALA-BAC BURGER
   notes:* Butt: i get to go to The Abbey Bookshop in Paris. i need to meet Ethan Hawke there...Butt: i love the catacomb bunkers of books here...* Toneri: you can't tell by how i talk what the tone is...
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TMIT: THE SUN IS REALLY ZIGGY'S BALD HEAD!!!
 1. what keeps your life exciting? remembering when my life was exciting...2. what is something you do to embrace your insecurities: i embrace my insecurities like i embrace the Absurdity of life, by...
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JFK SURVIVED: THE SUMMER OF LOVE (THE OTHER CRUISE)
 Woodstock in 1969 goes off without a hitch. JFK takes off his business shirt in the sweltering sun and puts on a faded orange long-sleeved shirt.JFK: this is my proudest accomplishment as President....
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CATHY EATS THE SUMMER STRAWBERRY SALAD FROM WENDY'S
 * Cathy: ACK!!!!!!!!! with this bizarro world getting even more bizarro-er, ever more bizarro-est, what can one do? where can one go? hide under the bed all summer? no, that's why i have the hope of 9...
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TMIT: LIGHTSABER CHOPSTICKS
 i would finally master eating with chopsticks if i had lightsaber chopsticks1. tell us 10 things that scare you*courts, not tennis the other court*the 1984 secret police, tho that Eurythmics song was...
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ON TOP OF EVERYTHING: THE ULTIMATE LIFE HACK (THE REAL BOB'S BURGERS SEASON...
 MBC is the prettiest youngest CEO on the planet. and the third in America because America is third in the world. why she doesn't strut in flipper feet everytime she disembarks from her kelp boat is...
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BURGER KING BEHIND MALL WALL
 notes:* a vintage 1980s Burger King was discovered behind a wall at a Wilmington, Delaware mall. the Concord. concrete walls obviously. the purple and aquamarine led investigators to first suspect it...
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