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NIGHT OF THE COMET: SAVAGE WRITING
Jen R and i are at the car show.me: but why?Jen R: i know, right? we both hate cars.me: Takahashi gave us the reco. he said there'd be some lookers, some once-in-a-blue-mooning cars here.Jen: i love...
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OIRAN DANCE
notes:* Dishoom: the Wilhelm Scream of Bombay...* Denny's: gunpowder potatoes? they taste a little chalky. don't compare them to our red potatoes.* Catherine Mary Stewart: you can only play video...
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TENNIS TWINS: NINES
Simona Halep is at her wedding. to some guy.Simona Halep: are you strong enough to be my man?guy: hey at least i don't get my strength from PEDs.Simona: those drugs were for recovery, man, for...
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NIGHT SHIFT: BEETLEJUICE AS A HUMAN AND THE MORGUE MONK
Jen R and i are at Galaxyland in Canada.Jen R: oh but this is a kid's amusement park.Melissa Maker: no it's just all the rides are SMALL. Jen R: this place is like me drawing with my marker pens. i'm...
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CAROTA CARAVAGGIO
notes:* Willard Scott: Frutiger, the only font that i could read as Ronald McDonald. the font i used on my Smuckers Jelly job application. it's legible both near and far. yeah NOW people pay attention...
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NEVER STOP HARBAUGHING
Jen R and i are at Mammoth, California inside Cork and Russ's log cabin. Jen R: well that was QUITE the late Christmas celebration with your folks.me: they're my relatives, I am the weird uncle in the...
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INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE: ANNE WEDDING RICE
Codrus: okay let's get this boat thing over with. i'll collect planks of wood from the monastery, i'll cut them down with the natural not steel claw of my pinkie finger, and you'll build the hull.Ben...
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TENNIS TWINS: THE FINE ART OF HEADBUTTING
Andre Agassi uses his bald head to lightly politely knock on the door of the Connorses.Jimmy Connors: hello? is anyone out there?Andre Agassi: I'M FUCKING COMING IN!!!Andre RAMS his bald head into the...
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SEX BAKERY
Jen R and i are getting married. the wedding is today.Jen R: in NYC of course. you'd be surprised how few churches there are still left in the city. me: but aren't you Jewish?Jen: wait it's Valentine's...
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THE BIG SICK: HUMOR HEALS WHEN THERE'S A SICK JOKE
Jen R and i are at the Southfield Mall.Jen R: Naptown is really Sacramento, i've had some of my best sleeps on those park benches. THOSE parks are reclaiming the color orange with their leaves. i'm...
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TENNIS TWINS: WINNING FUCKING EVERYTHING
Chris Evert: wait there's ANOTHER knock at the door? who is it THIS time?Jimmy Connors looking out their balcony: oh shit, my old nemesis has returned.John McEnroe is down below the apartment complex...
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SPIT THAT BANANA IN MY MOUTH
Jen R: okay it's time for the honeymoon portion of this wedding.me: i'm too tired. i mean let's do this.Jen: i mean isn't Vegas a bit too on the nose? too cliche?Eli Manning still in Vegas after a...
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SHORT CIRCUIT: WHEN AI WAS CUTE
Sora AI: sure, but can Sora heal you when you're sick on the weekend? don't get sick on weekends, EVERY doctor's office is closed.Chinese dragon: see? i told you i was real...Skip Bayless: with my...
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BERKELEY CITY COLLEGE: THE DREAM NEVER DIES
me: i'm going back to college.Jen P: where have i heard this before?me: no seriously this time. i dunno. i just feel i have to DO something now, you know? no more excuses.Jen: covid is over. me: i'm...
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MASH THE GUAC
Jen R and i are exploring Downtown Berkeley, the newspaper district, when suddenly an irreplaceable SMELL enters my nostril and i can't look away.me: omg it's Chipotle. i've always wanted to work...
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SOME LIKE IT HOT: THE UKULELE UNICORN
Doryce: how do you pronounce onahole?Takahashi: yeah i'd like to know, too. for my records.Doryce: i'm going to see Dune 2 tonight...Moe from The Three Stooges wearing a pigskin for a helmet with...
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BERKELEY CITY COLLEGE: THE BERKELEY SUBURBS LOOK LIKE ANCIENT GREECE
Jen P: ready to wake up early again?me: i mean i haven't woken up to go to a job in like 35 years.Jen P: the stage is new, it's located at the corner of THIS olive tree.me: i have to admit, me walking...
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THE REAL MCCOY
Jen R and i are at a Baltimore strip mall.Jen R: the one on the corner, you know, that one. the concrete corner. this place has so many shoppes squeezed into it, so many experiences and colors and...
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EVIL TOONS: THE SCOOBY GANG GOES TO COLLEGE
Jen R and i are aboard a luxury cruise liner ship.me: are you sure we can afford this?Jen R: no. but i need to be on a fancy boat or i can't hear Alan Watt's words in that Alan Watts voice.Alan Watts...
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BERKELEY CITY COLLEGE: MAKING A MOVIE, FILMING A FILM AT BERKELEY
Christopher Nolan is giving Jen R and i a tour of Berkeley.Christopher Nolan: we filmed many scenes from Oppenheimer here on the Berkeley campus.Jen R: what are you doing here, man? Christopher Nolan...
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